Diet Combo #1110

Dieting is the bane of my existence. 

I love good food which is ultimately bad food and I can never seem to get to a happy medium when it comes to indulging in my favorite past time.  In fact – in recent years I have even taken to secretly running through Taco Bell and taking it home to enjoy.  It’s like if I eat it in secret it doesn’t really count.  And I’ve never had a bad body image.  When we got Christmas pictures back from my in- was laws my first reaction was “Who is the fat person?”  Egads – it was me!!!  I always think I see a supermodel in the mirror and I liberally use the “The camera adds 10 pounds…” when looking at pictures.  We have a cheap Kodak Easyshare and I swear it adds 50 pounds.

Sooo.

I have started another diet.  I’m sort of using a combo of high protein, low fat, low carb, a couple of diet supplements, Slim Shots to quell my appetite and a fat burner for the fat that is not blocked by the Fat Blocker.  I have some Carb Blockers too but I am trying to exercise some restraint with all the pills.  Ha!

I am on day two and quite honestly, I do feel less bloated.  My goal is to lose 50 pounds by next Wednesday, but a local dietician tells me that will not be possible without eliminating some body parts.  Maybe I’ll start with cutting off my head since that seems to be where most of the problem lies. 

And I hate exercise that requires more physical intensity than crocheting an afghan.  Actually I never minded going to do the treadmill at the gym as long as I was hooked up to VH1.  Especially if there was an Earth Wind and Fire concert on.  That always seemed to make the time pass quickly.

Everybody always tells me that the perfect workout storm is to add a trainer to the mix, but I’m afraid that would be just one person I had to worry about not letting down.  Or worse that I wold get one of those drill sergeant types that thinks that the body is a temple, blah blah blah.

Well all I can say is that I’m going to do my best, stick with it as long as I can and report my successes here.

And if I don’t report…don’t ask how the diet is going!

 

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